Ok this is gonna sound weird but oh well. Now I’m absolutely 100% positive that I’m not lesbian. Or bisexual. I’m completely straight. But I have a friend and she’s 22 years old and she was like my best friend ok and I’m only 13. Well Samantha is completely straight too. Now the only time I saw her was when she was at work or hanging out with me and my family.
Well I just got back from Indiana a couple weeks ago and the day after I did she came over to my house crying that her bf broke up with her. I was completely pissed because I don’t like it when some hurts someone I love (at this point I love her like she’s my sister) well a couple days later she quits her job and stops hanging out with my family and won’t answer her phone and deleted her Facebook account. So like basically she has lost all contact with the outside world. But the other day she sends me an email saying “Courtney we will see each other eventually” but I just want to scream at her that we won’t. And the reason why is because I am moving and you’re probably wondering what all this has to do with anything but I’m getting there. You see I’ve known her since she was 18 and besides my mom and my sisters and my other best friend Heather, she’s been one of the most beautiful people I know.
Well over the summer I told Samantha and heather some intimate stuff. Now I won’t go into detail but one thing was that I had thought I was in love with this guy but they made me realize I’m not, that the feelings weren’t real. Well ever since Samantha quit I’ve had this feeling. And this time I know it’s real. I’m in love with her. Now listen. I don’t want to be, I just want it to be our friendship and I don’t know what to think because I don’t have sexual feelings and I don’t want to kiss her or hold her hand I just wanna tell her I love her because this time it feels real and I’m really confused because I don’t like have feelings for any other girl or anything and I’m positive I’m 100% straight. Just could anyone help me? Like should I tell her? And if I’m in love with her does that make me lesbian? Because I don’t wanna be a lesbian. So just somebody help me please and thank you!
